Snow

We flew into Seattle on the 18th, well, really, the 19th, just after midnight. We were due in many hours before that, but mechanical delays in New York kept us grounded for awhile. In any event, Stephany, DJ, and I made it to Tacoma just in time to get completely snowed in. It just kept falling!!!

We managed to dig out the driveway enough this morning so that Stephany and DJ could attempt the long drive to Coos Bay, Oregon, to spend Christmas with her family. Hopefully it starts to melt, so that we can have our little family Christmas Eve here in Tacoma. I will be very sad if we don't.

So, for now, I am on my little vacation. I can read some books. relax a bit, help Grandma make cookies, and not have to worry about what DJ is getting into.

Just some pictures of the snow that I took this morning. So weird.

Hey, look...I haven't blogged since last month. Things have been really crazy, adjusting to life with DJ's mom home, her new fiance, extra work hours, holidays, blah blah, etc. We leave in a week for Christmas and New Years on the West Coast. YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

Anyway, I will blog again later, maybe even with some pictures. I'm alive, I'm doing well, just busy and exhausted and honestly, blogging is the furthest thing from my mind at the end of the day.

Brrrr

We are averaging 35-45 degrees most days and 30-20 degrees at night. We had snow flurries a couple days ago, and even more flurries yesterday, resulting in a tiny dusting of snow. I have the heat turned up, but having a three-level townhouse with poor construction and zero insulation, it's pretty chilly, even inside, unless you're upstairs in our bedrooms, then its too warm! Fortunately, I have enough to keep me running around and DJ is never still, so I think we will be alright. Feels like winter, for sure.

Hello out there

We're still here. In the home stretch of single-pseudo-parenthood. DJ's mother will be home in a week and we have been so busy preparing. Ok, I have been busy catching up on housework, teaching, chasing DJ around, dealing with endless insurance paperwork and phone calls.

Today was picture day at school. I took a couple photos of DJ before we left the house, but as usual, they look silly. DJ is a silly kid, so it's expected.

So much of me is excited for DJ's mom's return, but a signficant part of me is also very nervous. There is always a certain amount of behavior difference with DJ when his mom is around, because A) She has been gone for a long time B) She feels guilty for being gone for a long time and he knows that and C) She isn't big on discipline, which he also knows, so it changes the dynamic in the house a lot. To top it all off, we are entering the Holiday season, which brings a chaos all its own and we are going to be flying cross-country to celebrate with our families, so poor DJ has a lot going on in the coming weeks. He is very adabtable, but it's bound to create some issues.

With DJ's mom arriving the morning before Thanksgiving, we had originally planned to have a very small dinner at home, just the three of us. However, my pastor and his wife have invited us to join them at their house for Thanksgiving dinner and I accepted. It is so very hard for me to have a tiny Thanksgiving when I come from a history of large extravagant festivities. I am extremely grateful for this invitation, as I enjoy spending time with people from my church, DJ loves to play with the pastor's sons and I get to have a bit more of a gathering and real meal.

It's gotten very cold here and we had our first snow flurries yesterday. Snow before Thanksgiving. Happened last year, too. All those great fall colors are gone, the trees almost completely bare. It's almost winter. Are you ready?

Halloween

It occurs to me I haven't posted about Halloween. Life's been more than a little crazy this past week or so....

We had quite a few activities planned, one being his costume parade/party at school. I was on my way there when my accident happened, so I missed it, but one of the other moms took lots of pictures. DJ wore his Thomas the Tank Engine costume to school. We had also planned to trick-or-treat on Main Street that evening, as all the businesses are decorated and hand out treats. Due to the accident, we didn't make it to Main Street, but that's ok.

We did make it out on Halloween night, to trick-or-treat in our neighborhood. DJ wore his Monkey costume for this, and due to my soreness, we just did our block, but his bucket was still more than half-full, and he doesn't even eat candy!

Cars

Yesterday was a week since the wreck. I'm doing ok, still have a lot of back and neck stiffness and pain. My shoulder and knee bother me sometimes. I'm unable to do some simple household things and still can't fully participate at work or even get down on the floor to play with DJ at home. I have transportation, but it's not very reliable. It gets us to and from school and that's all that matters at this point. To top it all off, DJ has a cold and has been waking up in the middle of the night, coughing. For a kid who sleeps 10-12 hours a night, that's rough. I also started my new work schedule this week, so I have 2 afternoons and 2 mornings there. The extra money will be very helpful, now that I have to start making car payments, but its a little overwhelming, because my morning class is 2 and 3 year olds and thats certainly an adventure!

I'm going car browsing today. I found one that I'm very interested in. Another Saturn, but newer than the one I had. DJ is going to play at his best friends house, so I can do it without the joys of bringing a child along on test drives, etc.

I got the police report this week and found out that I had been hit by a Ford Expedition. That's a very large SUV to hit my little Saturn. I have been in contact with both my insurance and the other person's insurance. The police report clears me of any fault, but the other driver is telling a very different story, which is just bizarre. I could try to explain it, but if you don't live here, it wouldn't make much sense. She knows she was at fault and is telling lies to cover her tracks. Fortunatly, there are multiple witnesses on the police report, who told the truth.

All that being said, I am extremely grateful that this accident wasn't worse. DJ was happily playing at school, and my injuries are minor. I was talking to my mom the other day, I think after we had gone to church Sunday, and I said that I felt like I almost had more Praises to God than Prayers, after everything that happened. I am very grateful for all the prayers!

Two years ago, I would have never gotten back into a car after this. Now, I'm most upset at not having a car and having to navigate the insurance and car buying process. I have come a long way, and yes, I get a little nervous at that intersection, but I know God will protect me.

I guess the point of my rambling is just that no matter how stressed out you feel or things might be a little rough, find time to praise Him for all the little victories in your life. It may be hard to see them sometimes, but good things are happening.

crunch. ouch.

On my way back to DJ's preschool this afternoon (he was already there, playing happily with his classmates), to help with their halloween party, someone decided to run a very red light and smash into my car. I'm fine. Very sore, but otherwise a-ok. I am so grateful that DJ was not with me. They hit his side of the car and while the car didn't sustain a lot of damage on the side (the underside is another story, I landed up on a raised median), he would have been traumatized.

I called the preschool and they called Todd (my soon-to-be-ex-husband) and Todd rushed out of work and drove over to pick DJ up and then they came to pick me up at the hospital. I was taken with all precautions (backboard, etc), because of my previous back injuries and the fact that I was having some pain at the scene. Everything checked out fine and I was released.

I will be sore for a few days and I don't have a car and will have to figure that situation out in more detail in the coming days, but for now, I am so grateful that it wasn't worse and DJ was happy and content at school.

Life in the fast lane

I previously posted that it didn't feel like fall. A few days later, it got really cold and it couldn't be more fall-like now. I like that we need sweatshirts and jackets and if we were to be out early enough, hats and gloves would be required too. Its in the 30's at night. I love that I can pile blankets on the bed and snuggle down under them to sleep.

Things have been very busy these days. DJ is in school Monday-Thursday afternoons. I'm teaching Monday and Wednesday afternoons and then filling in on other days, when needed. We had another friend's birthday party to attend yesterday. It's almost Halloween, so there are those festivities. By the time that's over, I will be trying to prepare Christmas cards, then there's thanksgiving and before you know it, we will be getting on an airplane to go home for Christmas and New Years.

Before that happens, I have been presented with an opportunity. Right now, I am an assistant teacher in the Pre-K class. There are three classes at our school, a 2 1/2-3 year old class, 3 1/2-4 year old class and then Pre-K. The youngest class has two assistants, and one of them has decided to leave. Its a lot tougher class than the Pre-K, because the kids are so much younger, but I could use the money and I think it could be fun. It means some extra stress on DJ, as he would be in school all day on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but I think he can handle it. So, I'm trying to make that decision right now. If I do that, I will work monday and wednesday afternoons, tuesday and thursday mornings, and then also have a guitar lesson every tuesday afternoon. I have until mid-week to ponder this. Any thoughts?

The pictures that are mixed in with this post are from the pumpkin patch trip at the beginning of October. One of the mom's in DJ's class is a professional photographer and took hundreds of pictures that day and gave a disc to the school. As the teacher I assist doesn't have a working computer at home, I volunteered to go through the disc and put together an online album, which we will then email to the other parents, so they can get the pictures of their kids at the farm.

Alright, we are off to church...

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; Old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Fall?

Its been near 80 or over 80 for the past few days and will be for at least another day. It certainly doesn't feel very fall-like. It does, however, look fall-like, and I enjoy that very much. Just a quick picture of our street, looking fallish, despite the summer temperatures.

We are busier than ever these days. I can't decide if I like being busy or if I feel overwhelmed by it. It helps the time pass, but I'm tired all the time. After the New Year, things should settle into a routine, but until then, its going to be busy.

School is going very well. I love teaching! It's kinda funny, because as much as I teach, I'm actually learning more. DJ is doing well in Pre-K. Always Mr. Social, he gets into trouble for talking or not using his "inside voice" a lot. Overall, he is learning lots and fits in quite well.

We have three birthday parties in the coming weeks, five Halloween related activities, including a costume party, his party at school, a non-scary harvest festival at a nearby park, trick-or-treating on Main Street the day before Halloween and then the trick-or-treating on the actual day. He has two different costumes, a Monkey and Thomas the Tank Engine.

I get to go home for Christmas, for sure, and now there is a possibility that DJ and I will travel back to Washington for Thanksgiving as well. I am super excited!!!

It's Fall

We had the school field trip to the farm/pumpkin patch today. The weather here has been all over the place, but today really felt like fall. Its about 63, patchy sun, and windy. Pony rides, feeding and petting lots of farm animals, a hay ride, and then picking out pumpkins. Plus, they had a lot of places for the kids to just run and play and be loud and crazy.

Something's going on with my camera, I'm not really sure what, so I didn't get many pics. DJ has a cute little pumpkin and we are going to try and paint it this weekend.


Even with a few warm not-so-fall days mixed in, it's definitely fall. The leaves are changing, the nights and early mornings are pretty cold. I really like this time of year and it's one of the nicer times to live on the east coast, because there aren't a lot of evergreen trees, so you really get to experience the leaves changing and things like that. I do miss my evergreen trees, though!

Changes

DJ started school this year in the 4's class and I started working in the pre-k class two afternoons a week. That put DJ in school ALL day twice a week, which he has done fine with, but I can tell he's pretty wiped out at the end of the day. He has a lot of friends in the 4's class, kids he was in class with last year. His very bestest friend is in that class. However, with his moving onto kindergarten next fall and with me already working in there twice a week, DJ will be moving to the Pre-K class. Right now, he's doing both classes, but next week, he will move from three mornings a week to four afternoons a week. He will be sad to leave his friends, but we will still be able to have playdates and he has already made lots of friends in his new class. It's a change, but a good change.

I'm fitting in well in my work, the kids are getting to know me and some of them actually listen to me. Four and Five is such an interesting age. So many questions, so many strange and wonderful insights. They sure do like to find errors in anything you say or do and make sure to point them out very quickly. It's fun, though.

The best news of all....I get to go home for Christmas!! We will all fly out (DJ, his mom, and I) and then they will drive down to Coos Bay, Oregon, to spend the holiday with her family. I can't even put my excitement into words. I spent the summer with my mom, but I haven't seen my grandparents in almost a year and there are aunts, uncles, cousins to see. Grandma's cooking! Just spending the holidays in the house I grew up in, the traditions, the fun. I can't wait!!!

Zzzz...

Things are going well at the preschool. I am enjoying my assistant teacher position a lot. However, I would like to state for the record that spending three hours with 14 four-and-five-year-olds is EXHAUSTING!!!

School, Friends, and other adventures

The weather is finally cool enough (actually cold in the mornings) to finally be out during the day and do things, like go to the park, take walks, etc. So, I had planned to be outside this weekend. What have we done? Absolutely nothing. DJ made it two whole weeks in school before he picked up a bug. It's just a cold and doesn't seem to be bothering him much at all, but it's annoying. So its a weekend of relaxation and lots of cuddles.

Last week, my best friend flew out from Tacoma to visit. It was a short trip, but good to spend time with her. The weather had been cooling off, but for some reason, her first day here, we had a freak summer day 93+ degrees with 60% humidity. Yuck. It cooled off significantly the rest of the week.

Monday, DJ went home with his best friend from school, and Jess and I took the Metro into DC. We visited the National Museum of Crime and Punishment. It was totally worth the money and I can't even begin to tell you how nice it was to be able to walk through at my own pace, without worrying about what DJ was touching, how loud he was being, etc. It's been a very long time. DJ had a blast playing with his friend all day, so it was great all around. I have to say, though, it seems so weird to me that DJ is even old enough to go home with a friend after school. Where does the time go?

Tuesday, the three of us hopped back on the Metro (basically, the subway) and went to the National Zoo in Washington DC. It is an amazing, gigantic zoo and because it's run by the Smithsonian, its totally FREE! We had a great day walking around the zoo, seeing all the animals, taking lots of pictures. My friend is a photography fanatic, so she took a lot of pics.

Wednesday, DJ had school in the morning and we just relaxed and she packed. We took her to the airport on Thursday morning and here we are at Saturday evening.

I have a lot of pics, but DJ is telling me he is "so so so soooooo hungry", so I must go make dinner. I will post pictures later.

First Day of School/Work

Today was DJ's first day of school for the 4's class and also my first day working as the assistant teacher in the pre-k class, which DJ gets to attend, while I'm working. It all went very well. We're both pretty tired, but it went smoothly. The teacher I'm working with was one of DJ's teachers last year, so we are familiar with each other and get along very well. Its a little overwhelming right now, figuring out where everything is in the classroom and getting into the routine, not to mention the 14 4-6 year olds! I think I'm going to like it, though.

It was very bright and sunny and HOT today, so I ended up with only goofy pictures on the front steps.

Tropical Storm Hanna

Everything about living on the east coast is an adventure. One of the biggest adventures since moving here has been the weather. Today, I got to experience a tropical storm. We have had remnants of storms, which just means it rains a bit. This time, it was the real deal. We had known it was coming for awhile, so there was plenty of time to gather supplies and be prepared for any potential issues that could arise.

It rained heavily for hours and hours and hours. It was cold, at least for summer standards, at barely 72 degrees. Personally, I think 72 is a beautiful temperature, but considering it was 91 yesterday... The wind blew a little but it wasn't consistent and only gusted a few times. Mostly, it just rained.

I couldn't figure out how it could be so tropical, if it got so cold, but one step outside, between rain showers and you could tell. It felt like I had somehow stepped out of my maryland home and into a tahitian rainforest! The humidity was insane, enough that it made the upstairs balmy, made posters, once flat against the walls, saggy, and left the air with a musty smell. Very odd.

In any event, it was fast moving and by dinner time, there were patches of blue sky and the sun even shone a little. Its supposed to be 85 tomorrow. As I was getting DJ ready for bed, I looked out and saw something cool....


A Rainbow!

I had been worrying about this storm for a few days but knew that God would protect us. I felt like this rainbow at the end of the storm was just a beautiful reminder of his presence.

God is Great!

Do you ever have moments when you are just completely reminded of God's amazing love and power in our lives?

Today, I am having that moment.

This morning, we had DJ's preschool orientation. He attended the 3's class there this past Spring. While it is held at a church, it is not a specifically Christian preschool. They do occasionally incorporate stories and ideas, but with the diversity of our area, it's generally religion neutral. In any event, we got there, met his new teachers for the 4's class this year, and then the parents went to the sanctuary to get the low-down on the years activities.

The first thing Miss Wendy, the director, said was that they were looking for a parent volunteer to assist twice a week in the pre-k class (afternoon class). As soon as she said it, I knew it was meant to be. Not only will it allow DJ to experience the pre-k class prior to going to Kindergarten next year, but it will allow me to experience teaching.

I have wanted to be a teacher for as long as I can remember. I have doubts sometimes, whether it's the right job for me, but this will be a great chance to see if it truly is where I belong. I will make some much-needed extra money, and on top of that, DJ's tuition will be FREE!!! So, I spoke to the director and I have to get a few things done (fingerprinting and CPR class), but I will start right away on the first day, Monday.

It will be an adjustment for DJ and in the beginning, the days will be long. His Mondays and Wednesdays will be all-day school. He will have his own class from 9:30-12 and then have lunch and then be in the pre-k class from 12:30-3. I have every confidence in his ability to handle it, he is very adaptable, and it will be very good experience before he attends all-day kindergarten the next year. He will also have school just in the morning on Fridays.

Ahhh...I'm rambling! It's not a totally for sure thing yet, but it looks good and even to just experience it for a little while is awesome.

I feel so blessed!!!

Psalm 121

All summer, the pastor has been focusing on Psalms. This week was Psalm 121:

1.I will lift up my eyes to the hills -
From whence comes my help?
2.My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

3.He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
4.Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

5.The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
6.The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

7.The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
8.The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.

(From The Woman's Study Bible. New Kings James Version)

I find this very comforting, considering the crazy world we live in and the uncertainty that surrounds me on a daily basis.

Thoughts?

Bekka

I posted this blog several months ago, but as today would have been her 20th birthday, I feel the need to repost about one of my closest friends, Bekka.

(originally posted 26 May 08)
Allow me to start with some back-story, if you will. I met my very bestest friend, Jess in the 6th grade. We were inseparable and even to this day, talk at least 3 times a week. When I was living back in Washington, we spent as much time together as her work schedule allowed. Jess had a younger sister, Bekka. Bekka was probably about 5 when I met her and she instantly became the little sister I never had. There was a lot of typical sibling squabbles over the years, but Jess's family is my family and vice-versa. By the time Bekka got to high school, the three of us were very close, and the year I spent at home (last year), we spent a lot of time together.

Seven months ago tomorrow (27 October), Steph, DJ, and I had spent the morning shopping at Target for things we needed at the new house here in Laurel. We opted for lunch at a place we'd never been to "Chic-Fil-A". Just as we sat down to eat, my cell phone rang and it was Jess. I don't normally answer at mealtime, as its inconsiderate, but something told me to answer. She was frantic: "My dad thinks Bekka is dead". Jess's apartment is only a few minutes from her dad's house, and she could hear sirens as she tried to calm herself enough to drive over there. I didn't hear from her for three hours. I got another call from her: "We are waiting for the medical examiner". The only words out of my mouth were: "So, it's true?" Bekka had died, apparently in her sleep. It couldn't be true. Bekka was just barely 19. Healthy 19-year-olds don't just die in their sleep.

Sadly, Bekka did pass away in her sleep, at 19 years of age. The autopsy showed nothing. 18 weeks later, the toxicology reports confirmed that her heart just spontaneously stopped. There were naturally occuring chemicals in her blood that showed her body tried to restart the electrical impulses to her heart, but could not. Bekka was healthy. She had just graduated high school and started college. She was in a great relationship. She was an amazingly talented artist and musician. Her whole life was ahead of her and for no reason whatsoever, she was taken from us. (And yes, I realize that when Heath Ledger died, it only took 10 days to get his toxicology reports. We were still waiting for Bekka's when that happened and needless to say, we were rather annoyed.)

I had seen Bekka the day before I left to drive cross-country. I have a couple photographs that I snapped. I had no idea that less than a month later, she would be gone. One of the toughest parts of the whole thing was that I was 3000 miles away from home. I could do nothing to help, I talked with Jess a lot, listened, we laughed and cried. I managed to make a very short trip home over Veteran's Day weekend. It was nearly impossible to get into the car and drive the 15 minutes to Jess's dad's house, knowing Bekka would not be there.

Most of the time, because I'm so far from home, it's easy to not think about this horrible loss. I'm not there to see the void. Sometimes, because of a song or just a random thought, I remember that she's not a part of this world anymore and it's absolutely heartbreaking. I'm not even sure what triggered it tonight, but I miss her so much.

I know God has a plan, but sometimes those plans are very painful for those left behind.

slacking blogger

I wish I could say the lack of blogging is due to being totally busy, but the reality is, it's been pretty boring. Trying to get back into the groove of things, with my mom gone. Although, that will change a bit once school starts on the 8th. Then we will get into a different kind of groove. We did have a playdate today, which was nice. The weather has cooled off significantly, which is also nice. I wouldn't mind a little rain, which the weather-people have promised. The grass is looking a bit yellow.

There is a little Covenant Church about 20 minutes from our home, that we discovered around Christmas. We went once and then got lazy and never went back. When my mom got here, we started going again and I am so thankful. While it is an older congregation, the pastor and his wife are a bit younger and have three little boys. Everyone has been incredibly welcoming and supportive and it's just wonderful.

About 11 more days til school starts again....YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

My mom was here for six amazing weeks and I feel so blessed for that time we had together. Being a single pseudo-parent is incredibly difficult, made even more so by the fact that I'm 3000 miles from home.

It has been very hard to get back into the swing of things since my mom left. DJ seems fine with it, but he is so used to people moving in and out of his life, it's almost normal to him. I, on the other hand, am a total basketcase! If I can just make it through the next 2 weeks until school starts, I will be fine.

Everything in the house reminds of the time with my mom, I can't go downstairs to watch tv, without getting a little choked up, because that's what we did in our downtime, I wake up in the morning and think "I will get DJ and we'll go wake up grandma joan". There was a starbucks cup that she had left in the car from our trip to the airport and I couldn't manage to throw it away til yesterday.

I know its only been a few days I will adjust over time, but having her here for so long and we had so much fun and she was so much help with DJ and the house. I just miss her!

Growth

DJ has grown an inch in the past five weeks!!! He is now a little over 40 inches tall. I don't know if that's average for four and a half, but he seemed to be the same height as most of his classmates.

Speaking of school...


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DJ will be starting the 4's class very soon. He is old enough to be going into the Pre-K class, but I felt he just wasn't ready, and all his friends from last year are just moving up one class to the 4's. I have every confidence it will be a good year and he will learn a lot.

My mom heads home on Tuesday. This weekend is pretty quiet, we went to the bookstore today, so my mom could get books for her flights home. She also got DJ a couple new books, including "Horton Hatches an Egg", which they are reading as I type this. Books are fun.

Philadelphia

With some cooler weather lately, without thunderstorms, we decided to take an impromptu trip to Philadelphia a few days ago. The drive is a little over two hours, not bad at all. We got there around lunchtime, so we wandered down the street a ways, happened to catch a brief magic show (in period clothing, of course) in front of Betsy Ross's house, then found a mall and had lunch. Afterwards, we saw the Liberty Bell, toured Betsy Ross's house, then decided to take the duck tour.

If you're not familiar with the duck tours (they have one in Seattle), it is an amphibious vehicle that tours the land, showing you the sights in the city, then goes into the water (in this case, the Delaware River) and shows you some sights there, before returning to dry land. It was pretty cool and we may go back to Baltimore and take the duck tour there.

We also managed a quick viewing of Independence Hall, which used to be the capital of the United States, and saw where Congress used to be housed.

My mom heads home in just a few days. I'm not looking forward to that. Her visit has been so great, we have had so much fun, and it's just going to be hard to go back to being a single-pseudo-parent again. We will only have a couple weeks and then school will start again, so it will be ok.

Shots suck!

Between ages four and six, most children need four vaccines. DJ is due for a fifth sometime in the next year and the yearly flu shot this fall. I had debated back and forth about timing, if we should do them all at once or split them up, etc. We had to drive out to the naval hospital this morning (very early) so I could pick-up some prescriptions for myself and I figured that since we were there and with school starting up in a month, I would get two of those vaccines out of the way now. I figured we could get two now, the flu shot and another when winter approaches, and the other two sometime in the spring. DJ has never had a problem with vaccines before, but it's never fun. The clinic wouldn't let me split them up. The poor kid got four shots today! The other two (flu shot and the other in his hepatitis A series) we will get in a couple months. He was so brave and didn't cry much at all, but even with motrin and tylenol, he has had a slight fever all day, crashed out hard during quiet time (he almost never sleeps during his nap/quiet time), and hasn't had much of an appetite. He has still been pretty active and has drank a ton of water, so I'm trying not to worry too much. My mom says he's fine and I know these are all normal vaccine reactions. Maybe it is better to just get them over with now, instead of drawing it out, but I cant help but feel bad for him.

Hopefully he will wake up feeling much better tomorrow, as he has a classmates birthday party to attend in the afternoon. I'm just annoyed with the hospital immunization clinic for not allowing me to split them up and I don't like it when DJ's not feeling well and I kind of feel like I contributed to his misery. It's a necessary evil, but still...shots suck!

National Night Out

Last night was the National Night Out. I'm not exactly clear on the meaning and purpose, but I think it is supposed to bring communities together, show togetherness against crime? Something like that. In any event, it was at the lake park down the street from our house. We haven't been out much since returning from vacation, doing a lot of laundry and general vacationing from vacation, aka vegetating. DJ has been bouncing off the walls, like always. I think he gets more hyper everyday.

They had threatened rain and thunderstorms, but the night ended up being perfect. About 78 degrees, humid, but breezy. After dinner, we herded DJ out the door and we walked the couple blocks to the lake park.

When I read about this National Night Out a few weeks ago, the article said they were bringing in a helicopter from the US Park Service for everyone to look at, ask the pilots questions, etc. DJ is a boy, he would like a helicopter, right? He did, for about 15 seconds. We also met one of the US Park Service horses, a couple police dogs, and saw a giant ladder fire truck. All of these things held DJ's attention for 15-20 seconds. Then he danced along to the singer/guitarist who was performing, and we headed home again.

The rescue squad was doing a demonstration on how they extricate passengers from a wrecked vehicle. I was almost in tears before they started, but it wasn't as bad as I expected, to watch, and there was so much going on, you couldn't really hear the crunching of metal. I kept telling myself it was therapeutic or something.
(If you don't know, I was in a very serious car accident almost 11 years ago, and I had to be cut from the car. I don't remember everything that happened, but the sound of them cutting the door off, just inches from my head will stick with me forever)

We only stayed for about an hour, but it gave us the motivation to get out of the house for a little while, have a nice walk, and personally, I thought the helicopter was pretty cool! We were even standing near it when it took off again! It also allowed us to wear DJ out. I didn't bring the stroller as I sometimes do on walks, and he was running all over the fields there at the park, and dancing to the music. He was definitely tired when we got home.

Up next...well, not much. DJ was invited to a birthday party on Saturday for one of his classmates, but mostly we are just trying to enjoy as much time together before my mom has to go home on the 19th.

Oh yeah, and getting back into the habit of practicing guitar before I start lessons again next month! I have barely picked it up since I stopped lessons at the end of April, when DJ's mom left for Africa. So bad!!!

Adventures in road tripping

As I mentioned, we are home, I am doing mountains of laundry, and at least the grown-ups are pretty exhausted. DJ is bouncing off the walls, as usual. The trip went well, we didn't get to see or do as much as we would have liked, because it was extremely hot and humid, and we never really made it to the beach. We did spend a lot of time in hotel pools and DJ has become a regular fish, the completely opposite of last summer, when he didn't want to get into the water at all.

I'm going to skip the disastrous beginning (we hadn't even gotten on the road yet), because everything worked out fine. We drove to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, and got settled into our hotel. A storm was moving in, but we took a quick drive down to Dewey Beach, so I could take a couple pictures. The restaurant closest to our hotel was this fun little place called Cracker Barrel. Just as we finished dinner, the storm hit, and it was right on top of us. Outside Cracker Barrel, they have lots of rocking chairs (they sell them), so we sat there, under the porch roof and watched the downpour, lightning and listened to the huge booming thunder. DJ was cheering for the thunder, he loved it. I was ready to jump into my mom's lap. Not a fan, thank you.

Anyway, when we woke up the next morning, the storm had passed, and we packed up the car. Rehoboth Beach is known for its outlet stores and Delaware is a tax-free state. So, of course, we had to do a little shopping. DJ got some back-to-school clothes. We drove down and walked along the boardwalk for awhile, then walked back to the car along the beach, splashing in the waves a bit. That is the extent of our beach fun for the entire trip. We spent the day casually driving down to Ocean City, Maryland. We stayed in a really nice hotel there and spent the rest of the evening playing in the pool. After dinner and bath time, DJ fell asleep in less than 5 minutes.

Tuesday, we began our drive to Williamsburg. We stopped to visit an island in Virginia called Chincoteague. It is famous for a special kind of pony. Every year, they swim the ponies (at low tide) from Assateague Island to Chincoteague Island, and then they are auctioned off. Apparently there is a famous childrens book (true story) about it. Anyway, my mom had read the book as a child and loves horses, so we made a stop to check out the island. That big event was on Wednesday, so the island was PACKED. We saw some of the ponies that already lived on the island, some of the mares were older than me!!! We got into Williamsburg later in the evening, had to find a walmart, and grabbed dinner. Then we spent some time in the pool before bath and bedtime.

Oh! On the way to Williamsburg, we had the opportunity to cross the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel, which is just amazing. It is 17.6 miles of bridge and tunnel, from shore to shore. You have the Atlantic Ocean on one side of you and the Chesapeake Bay on the other. We happened to get caught in a very nasty rain storm while we were crossing. You could barely see anything, which was a little scary. It's a very cool experience, though. It's just so immense and when you go into the tunnel parts, you are so far under the water. The tunnels are deep enough to allow aircraft carriers and big tankers to cross over.


The plan was to visit the Jamestown Colony and Settlement on Wednesday and Yorktown on Thursday, before heading to North Carolina. However, Wednesday was expected to be close to 100 degrees, close to 115 with the heat index, and extremely humid. We did go to the Jamestown Colony, but we couldn't stay long, as it was so hot and humid, we couldn't breathe. It was disappointing, but we went back and spent the rest of the day in the pool.

Thursday was expected to be hotter, so we skipped Yorktown and headed to Elizabeth City, North Carolina. We got there earlier than planned, obviously, but we checked into the hotel, got some lunch, had a little downtime, then jumped into the pool for quite awhile.

We had intended to drive all the way to Cape Hatteras (nearly 3 hours from the hotel) to see the lighthouse and visit all the other cool things along the Outer Banks. It quickly become obvious we couldn't see it all in a day (or even 2 days, we missed a lot), so we extended our vacation a day and spent 2 days driving up and down the Outer Banks.

Some hightlights: Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, The Wright Brothers Memorial Park (the site of their first attempts at powered flight), and the Monster Truck Grave Digger's official home. We did stop by a beach to check it out, but it had been so hot outside, the sand was burning our feet (especially DJ, who kept crying), and the water was quite rough, so we didn't stay and play.

I took a lot of pictures, but for whatever reason, many of them came out blurry. Not sure what that's about as I've never had a problem with the camera before. Maybe the heat and humidity? I really don't know. In any event, all the pictures are here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/megsphotos08/

I'm sure I'm forgetting things, so I may post again later, I'm just completely wiped out today. It's good to be home, but I miss having pools so close and convenient. It was great to wear DJ out.

Home again

We made it home. The drive back was really nice and easy. I will post again in the next day or so (I have mountains of laundry to do tomorrow) with a link to pictures (I have too many to post in a blog, I think) and details of our adventures. Stay tuned.

Traveling

Despite a bit of a rocky start, the trip is going pretty well. I will go into more detail when I can, with pictures too. Our days are long and I'm just too tired by the end to sit down and blog. We are currently in Williamsburg, Virginia and plan to spend the day at the Jamestown Settlement. More to come...

Baltimore

We awoke at the crack of dawn today, got ourselves together and headed out to catch the train into Baltimore. We had plans to visit to the National Aquarium, which is on the Inner Harbor.

The train ride was nice, just a commuter train, which wasn't very crowded. The conductor took quite a shine to DJ and sat with us for most of the trip, pointing out things and sharing history with us. The station sits right in from of Camden Yards, which is the home of the Baltimore Orioles baseball team.

We walked the couple blocks to the Inner Harbor and then walked along the waterfront to the aquarium. There is a lot to see and do there, and taking the train makes it so simple, we may go back before my mom leaves.

The aquarium was fantastic. It's gigantic, for one thing. We wandered through the Animal Planet presents Wild Australia first, seeing some really cool turtles, freshwater crocodiles, and a bazillion fish. It was almost impossible to take pictures of any exhibits, with the glass, lighting, and the fact that the fish and such never stop moving!

After we had walked through that exhibit, we went to the 4D Immersion Theater, where we viewed a short movie about the Shallow Seas of the world's oceans. The film was in 3D, so we wore spiffy glasses, but the experience was enhanced by vibrating seats, real ocean smells, tubes under our seats that blasted air at certain times, water sprays, and bubbles. Very, very cool.

When the film was over, we spent a bit of time viewing the Ray pool. They had stingrays of all sizes, the largest probably being larger than the roof of my car! They also had a humongous sea turtle! We headed across the sky bridge and got into our seats (just out of the splash zone) for the dolphin show.

The show was great, lots of cool tricks, and I have always liked dolphins. DJ wasn't as into it as I had hoped, but I think he enjoyed some of it. It was hard to catch the tricks with my camera, as it just isn't quick enough.

We walked through the rest of the aqarium (no strollers allowed! DJ is good and worn out! Hooray!), seeing another 60 gazillion fish, sharks, some frogs, and another 100 million fish.

Even after grabbing a late lunch, we were still an hour and a half from the departure of the next train home, so we tried to slowly wander down the walkway along the Inner Harbor, but a rain storm was moving in, so we walked the couple blocks back to the train station.

It wasn't overly hot today (first day under 90 in a week), but it was definitely humid, due to the storm. We were waiting on the platform when the lightning and thunder began. We were under cover, not like a little rain bothers us Northwesterners, but it was nice to be under cover anyway. The train ride home was uneventful, although DJ seems to have found a whole new store of energy. All in all, a very nice day.

Up next, a week-long trip down the coast, from Delaware to North Carolina. We will have lots of time on the beach, as well as days in historic Jamestown and Yorktown, Virginia. I will be taking my laptop, so I will try to post some pictures along the way. Nothing can ever top Pacific Ocean beaches, but I'm sure we will have lots of fun. Just keep your fingers crossed that no new tropical storms or hurricanes form between now and then!

Picnic

With the heat index expected near 100 degrees today, we are staying inside. Since we were stuck inside a good part of yesterday and tomorrow is expected to be hotter, we're getting a little stir crazy.








Grandma Joan had an idea to have a picnic in the basement. We made some sandwiches and got some snacks and drinks, spread out our picnic blanket and had a little picnic lunch. It was a nice change of pace.

Monticello

Yesterday was a very long day, even though we made it home around 7pm. It was ok, could have been planned a little better, but now we know what we can and cannot handle in a day, or really, what DJ can and cannot handle in a day.

We left close to 7:30am and after a quick stop for coffee, we were on the road. I was feeling very generous and let my mom drive through the rush hour traffic on the Capital Beltway. Once we got off the worst freeway in the US, I think I drove the rest of the way. The drive was nice, for the most part. DJ used to be the master at car travel, now that he's 4 and a half, not so much. I think the DVD player with be a requirement next trip.

The weather was really nice. It was quite warm, but not the unbearable heat and humidity the East Coast is known for. The long car trip, skipping "quiet time", different meal/snack times, and walking around all day (even though we had the stroller) made for a very cranky kid. I didn't get as many pictures as I would have liked, as DJ's behavior was less than desireable.

Anyway, we toured the grounds a bit. I'm not sure what area we were looking at, but it was definitely a great view.

I wasn't able to take pictures inside the house, but on the tour of the first floor and our quick walk-through the underground tunnels (where the kitchen, cellar, etc were), we were able to see how intelligent and innovative Thomas Jefferson was. It's hard to explain, but he was an interesting man.

By the time we had gotten through the house, DJ was melting down, so my mom made a quick stop in the gift shop and we got back on the road. I got the wonderful opportunity to drive through rush hour traffic on the Beltway coming home. DJ was busy dumping out the basket with his toys and books in it and then throwing books around the backseat, because he couldn't find the one he wanted.

We had originally planned a day trip to the ocean, but the drive is similar in length, so we have revised that, and are making it a multi-day trip. We also have a trip to Baltimore Inner Harbor and Baltimore Aquarium planned, so stay tuned for that.

Just a moment...

A snapshot before we went to church Sunday morning.

The weather has been great, even the thunder/rain storm we had last night was nice. It was only 81 degrees today, cool enough to allow us to take a walk and let DJ ride his bike.

We are headed to Monticello (Thomas Jefferson's home) in Charlottesville, Virginia, tomorrow. It is a three hour drive, so we're leaving early, and may stay down there for the night, depending on how tired everyone is. I will try to take lots of pictures.

She has arrived!

My mom is here! My fridge, freezer and pantry are full! My car gets a tune-up tomorrow! DJ was beyond hyper today, having Grandma Joan here, but that's ok. Grandma Joan was a little hyper too.

My mom's flight was supposed to arrive in Baltimore at 8:43pm. It was bumped to 8:57pm sometime in the morning, not really sure why. Anyway, she got to Chicago on schedule, they got on the plane, and then they sat, and sat, and sat. There was a large band of thunderstorms over and near chicago and moving east toward Baltimore, so they stopped Eastbound flights for awhile. Her arrival time kept getting later and later and I was starting to freak out about keeping DJ up that late. When it looked like her flight wouldn't be arriving until after 11pm, if at all, I called one of my few friends here in Maryland and he was still at work, but I was fortunate enough that he said he would come by as soon as he got off work. So, with A LOT of drama, I tricked (yes, I realize it's not very nice, but he was adamant that he go to the airport) DJ into going to sleep.

My mom's plane finally landed in Baltimore around 11:40pm and my friend got here around midnight. I hopped in my car and since there it was the middle of the night, I got there quickly. It's only a 25-30 minute drive anyway, but I managed it in just a little over 15 (without speeding!), found my mom, and we were home again by 1:30. We both promptly went to bed and since DJ had gotten to bed later than normal the night before, we got to sleep in until almost 9.

We made a trip to Costco and then after quiet time, we went to Safeway. I have groceries in my house now. Real groceries! I'm going to get to eat real dinner! My mom is going to teach me how to make some things, even how to use the slow cooker we got for Christmas, that's still in its box.
I'm beyond elated to have my mom here, even without all that stuff. Just to have her close is awesome! Yay mom!

Argh!

My mom arrives tomorrow night and I'm trying not to go completely insane before then.

I know it's typical for 4-year-olds not to listen, to test boundaries, etc. I know that's typical behavior really from the time they become mobile. DJ was never really that kid, though. He has always tested boundaries with his mom, but that's because she's never around. With me, he's usually pretty good. Those days are long gone and I'm not really sure how to deal with it. It's like he has age-regressed back to 18-months or 2-years old. He doesn't listen at all, he gets into everything, bath and bed times have become nightmare-ish, and his answer to everything is "I don't know".

I have tried to sit down with him and explain things to him, trying to keep eye contact, so I know he's paying attention to me. It doesn't seem to be doing any good. I have tried time-out, all he does is cry and scream and nothing has changed. I have tried rewarding good behavior, still no change. I tried taking things away for bad behavior, nothing.

He won't talk to me about why he does these things. All he says is "I don't know" or "I wasn't listening". He knows his actions are inappropriate, because when he gets caught, he usually starts crying immediately.

The worst of this started when his mom left on this deployment, but some started when he started going to school. Maybe being with kids his age has allowed him to find his own age-appropriate behavior? He has grown up around adults, until he started preschool back in January. School is great and I love the school he goes to. I'm not blaming school, by any means. I'm just trying to find some kind of reason for this change.

I'm really at my wits end right now. I find myself going into my room and crying, after he's asleep at night, because I'm just so frustrated and feel so helpless.

Maybe this is just age-appropriate behavior and I have to find some way to work through it. This is when being a single-pseudo-parent is the hardest.

If anyone has any suggestions, please, please feel free to share them.

So much to do...

...and none of it is getting done!

I woke up on the 4th with the beginnings of one of those fun summer colds. Just what I need. It was a bit worse yesterday and I woke up pretty miserable today. That means I will be better tomorrow, right? I sure hope so!

My mom arrives Tuesday night and I have yet to accomplish more than 3 things on the page-long list of things to do before she arrives. Other than a couple things that I must do Tuesday, most things on this list aren't absolute. My mom knows how it is being a single parent. She doesn't expect everything to be perfect. I still like to try, though.

DJ is still in this weird phase. I don't know what to make of it. Is it just because he's 4? Is it because of his mom being gone again? He doesn't listen, he is constantly whining and crying over nothing. My mom says it's just because he's 4. It's just so out of character for him. Hopefully her visit will help. I know just having another person in the house is going to help me immensely!

I did manage to get his hair cut this morning. Thats another thing to check off the list. It was getting all shaggy again. So much easier to manage when its super short in the summer, especially when he freaks out every time we have to wash it! He loves bath time, but not the washing part. He just wants to play.

Our 4th of July was extremely quiet. I didn't want to try and work out the logistics of getting to and from DC for the fireworks, so we stayed home. Laurel had their big celebration on the 5th, with a whole day of activities. I just wasn't feeling up to it and with DJ's recent behavior... I did have to keep him up quite a bit later than usual, as the fireworks started at 9:15 and went for nearly an hour. Since they have them at the lake, just a few blocks from our house, we could see quite a few of them from my bedroom window.

DJ is down for his "quiet time" and instead of trying to do a few little things, I think I'm going to lay down for a nap myself.

Giggles

Due to the strategic placement of stairs vs DJ's bedroom and his previous encounters with sleepwalking, he has a gate in the doorway to his bedroom. Most mornings, after he wakes up, he opens his door and loudly calls out "Megan! Good Morning!", to which I drag my sleepy butt out of bed and we get on with our day. This morning, however, I woke up on my own and when I went to my bedroom door, I heard endless giggles coming from inside his room. I have no idea what he was laughing at, when I asked him later, he answered with his usual "I don't know!", but whatever it was must have been really funny!

(We are doing ok, by the way. When every day is the same, there isn't much to blog about. My mom will be here a week from today! Yippee!!!)

Insert Witty Title Here

Only 18 days until my Mom arrives! She will be staying with us for six weeks and I cannot even express how much I'm looking forward to that! My mom and I are so close, and we do have our disagreements, but we have a lot of fun together. It will be amazing to have someone else in the house and we have a few plans for some fun activities.

The days go by, all looking the same. I have to look at a calendar every morning to know what day of the week it is. As boring and frustrating as that can be sometimes, we are healthy, happy (most of the time), and finding ways to have fun. DJ is having a blast on the deck with his water table and bubbles. On days that are not too hot and humid, or the air quality isn't so poor (the joys of living in a very overpopulated area), we take walks or I take DJ out to ride his bike.

I haven't been taking many pictures lately, as our days are the same. Once my mom gets here and we do some traveling, I will have more to share. Confirmed adventures include: Baltimore Inner Harbor, Monticello (Thomas Jefferson's home), and Washington DC. I am hoping to spend at least a day on the coast, experiencing a real Atlantic Coast Beach. It all depends on weather and cost. Those gas prices are insane!

Reflections on Father's Day

Father's Day has always been my least favorite day of the year. My dad left shortly before I was born, for reasons I still don't know. Even though he lived close, I never saw him, never spoke to him. I was teased by classmates as a child for not having a dad. It was always a painful subject for me. A little less than 3 years ago, I finally got up the nerve and called him at work. He used to be a police officer, so he was easy to find. I didn't know what to expect, but I had to try. He was very receptive and agreed to meet. Meeting my father for the first time was and continues to be a surreal experience. We are alike in so many ways. We look a lot alike, but it goes beyond that. We have similar mannerisms, similar likes and dislikes, similar quirks and fears. So bizarre. (Photo taken 10 September 2005)

Our relationship is still relatively non-existent. It's awkward to try and develop that after so long, but we get along fine and we do email from time to time. I email him to wish him a happy birthday, merry christmas, but I just can't bring myself to wish him a Happy Father's Day. He may be my father biologically and we may share a lot of characteristics, but he is still a stranger to me.

DJ does not have a father. That line of his birth certificate is blank. He knows what a dad is, sort of, what he has learned from TV, seeing other families. I can't help but feel that pain I grew up with, all over again. I have discussed the topic at length with his mom. She grew up with a dad and I know their relationship is strained somewhat, she just can't grasp what her child is missing. I am not, by any means, advocating her going on a wild dad hunt just to provide that for him. I just can't help but feel like he deserves better.

The best I can do for him is teach him about our Holy Father. The one amazing dad that will never let us down.

Baby Birds and Bubble Machines

Has anyone noticed that I'm terrible with titles? Oh well.

Our townhouse (basically a rowhouse, there are 8 houses in our row, I believe) has a nice deck out back. We have no yard to speak of, but the deck is suitable as a place for DJ to have a small pool or something similar. The maintenance needed on the deck is now complete, which means we can use it now! Woo Hoo!

Anyway, the previous tenants left a hanging planter hanging on the deck. Recently, I noticed a Mourning Dove had built a nest in the planter. As I watched the bird for a few days, I realized he/she must have eggs, as they did not leave the nest for anything. Well, sometime during the night or first thing this morning, the eggs hatched. Mourning Doves traditionally lay two eggs at a time, up to three times a year. I was able to stand on the step-ladder and view the babies. They are a lot bigger than I expected and kinda fluffy. It's pretty cool.

With our deck now available for use and having done a lot of research, I decided against a pool. There are a few reasons, but if we decide we want to swim, the city has a nice pool we can use.

DJ has gone crazy over bubbles lately, but hasn't quite gotten the hang of blowing them. So, we found a cheap, but realiable (according to reviews) bubble machine. I think the only downside is that you eventually run out of bubble solution and have to buy more. Not unexpected. In any event, DJ had a blast.

At one point, DJ carefully closed his hands over a bubble and yelled "I caught one, I caught one! See!" and slowly opened his hands. Of course, the bubble hand popped. The look of shock on his face was priceless.

I also found a little water table, that will be a nice toy on the warmer days. It is put together, but we will wait to use it, as we are expecting another couple days of thunderstorms.

Has anyone noticed I ramble? Oh well.

Tested

I am feeling very tested as a pseudo-parent these days. DJ seems to be doing better, health-wise. He is eating and drinking lots. The heat/humidity here is just insane and due to several days close to 100 degrees, the air quality is very poor. This combined with DJ being sick over the weekend, we have been staying indoors. For the first time ever, since I started taking care of DJ, I feel trapped. There are things I would like to do, errands I would like to run, but I don't feel that I can subject him to the heat, as he doesn't tolerate it well, so we just stay home.

On top of that, and I'm sure it is partially due to the brief, but somewhat traumatizing illness, DJ has been very emotional. He cries at the drop of a hat, for no reason. I think part of it is because of his mom being gone, and that's completely understandable, and I'm sure some of it is just part of his age. I just don't feel like there is anything I can do. I give him tons of reassurance and love, but it's just not enough.

Like I said, I feel very tested. I will admit that some days, I feel like giving up. His grandparents would take him, but there are reasons his mom doesn't want that. I'm really the only stable thing DJ has had in his life. I'm the only one who hasn't come and gone. I can't just abandon him, because things feel tough right now. They will get better.

Heat and Hospitals

DJ woke up looking pale this morning and was very emotional. I gave him some breakfast (fruit loops), of which he ate maybe 5 loops. Anyone who knows this kid, knows he can seriously pack the food away, so I was concerned. He said he would rather have a waffle, so I tossed one in the toaster. Yes, I realize I am the worst pseudo-mom in terms of cooking, but he does have a balanced diet and looooooves his veggies! In any event, he didn't even take a full bite of waffle, before he began puking. I won't go into gory details, but it was bad. DJ hasn't thrown up since he was just a baby, and while I know what to do, I still freaked out a little. I called Todd. I know, we're getting divorced, but we are still friends and he's a medic for gosh sakes. He calmed me down and I gave DJ some small sips of water. Not too long after, that came back too. Today was the hottest day so far this year, at 95, with a heat index well over 100 degrees. I was very concerned that with the heat (our A/C doesn't work well), and DJ not keeping down even water, he would get dehydrated very quickly. Todd said I should take him to the ER and I called over there and the nurse agreed. So, I packed DJ into the car, with a bowl and towel and drove the 45 minutes to the Naval Hospital in Bethesda. We got checked in pretty quickly and he just laid there on the bed, pretty mellow (another very off-behavior for a generally hyper kid). The doctor came in and poked around, we waited awhile longer and they gave him some anti-nausea medicine and had him try to drink pedialite. He kept that down and we were sent home. It's just a virus. I was pretty sure it would be, I just didn't want to take chances, with the heat and everything.

We have been home for a few hours, DJ has had lots of fluids and some crackers and seems to be doing alright, but still pretty subdued. I'm going to put him in the bathtub in a few minutes, get his teeth brushed and flossed, read a goodnight story, and send him off to sleep. I'm sure he's exhausted. I know I am! Now we just have to keep our fingers crossed that whatever he had he keeps to himself.

I happened to have my camera with me, so here is a picture of the poor little guy...

Update: When I put DJ to bed, he asked for a nightlight. We put one in his room the first week we moved here, to help him settle in, but otherwise, he hasn't had one since he was a baby. I think today may have traumatized him a little. Extra hugs and cuddles for him!

I just went in to check on him and he is out cold (well, out hot? Even with the AC and celing fans, its pretty hot), so hopefully he will get some good rest tonight and feel great tomorrow.

Update 6/8: DJ woke up feeling better today. He is a little weak, but asking to eat and drink everything in sight. Just one of those icky 24 hour bugs, I guess.

Playdate, part dos

The forecast predicted sun and 88 today. We woke up to very overcast skies and about 65. It looked as though it might rain, but by the time we left to drive to the park, it was still very overcast, but no rain. It ended up being perfect weather, very cloudy and around 72. I didn't have to slather DJ in sunscreen, that makes his skin break out, and the moms weren't roasting sitting there. With the pleasant weather, the one hour playdate turned into two. The boys were great, running, chasing, falling, creating all sorts of mischief. Connor's mom and I had a nice time talking. I couldn't have asked for better. Plus, the library is on the way home from the park, so I got to drop off my books, without taking an extra trip and using up gas!

Sorry if this seems scattered, my brain is elsewhere this evening. A lot on my mind. Maybe ramblings for a later blog...

Storms and Playdates

If you don't follow the news or maybe if you live on the west coast and they didn't cover it, we had a series of very bad storms here yesterday. If you want to get technical, we have had quite a few storms lately. I believe, going into yesterday's first storm, we were on our fourth tornado watch since I moved here. Anyway, I knew a storm was predicted, but the day had been fine. Out of nowhere, it got very dark, there was rumble of thunder and thus began the most terrifying 40 minutes of my life. I have done my research and my sister lives in Kansas, so I know what to do in the event of a tornado. I was prepared. Over-prepared, really. I just expected some rain and wind and thunder. I have never seen weather like I saw in those 40 minutes. Never. This storm moved at 60 knots, the winds in excess of 65mph, with torrential rain, over 3000 lightning strikes in the region in less than an hour. I got DJ downstairs in the basement. Our basement is our rec room/play room, so its not a hardship to be down there. I turned on the news and we weren't in a tornado watch, it was a warning. There were very active rotations of air in the clouds. Our laundry room is built into the ground and I have no doubt we would come out of a tornado just fine, but it is still completely terrifying and I found myself panicking. Eventually, the storm quieted and the sun came out, like nothing had happened. There were a few broken tree branches, but everything was okay. After the storm passed through this area, it headed toward the Chesapeake, where a tornado touched down, doing some damage, but no death or injuries. Later last night, we had another powerful storm come through, which brought another tornado warning, but again, we came out of it just fine. I believe there were 4 confirmed tornadoes in the region, but the closest was an hour from us. I don't know that having been through this now, I will be any less scared the next time, but we did make it through. Tornadoes and Hurricanes...blech...where are my Earthquakes and Volcanoes?! :-)

On another note, DJ has a playdate tomorrow morning with his best friend from Preschool. We are meeting up at this great park near our house for about an hour. It was expected to be very hot this weekend 93-95 degrees, with excess humidity, so we are meeting up early. Yay for playdates and grown-up interaction!!!

Bekka

I know I started this blog to write about my feelings during Steph's deployment and being a pseudo-parent, but as I'm sure a lot of blogs do, its kind of turning into my feelings on a lot of things. So, bear with me.

Allow me to start with some back-story, if you will. I met my very bestest friend, Jess in the 6th grade. We were inseparable and even to this day talk at least 3 times a week. When I was living back in Washington, we spent as much time together as her work schedule allowed. Jess had a younger sister, Bekka. Bekka was probably about 5 when I met her and she instantly became the little sister I never had. There was a lot of typical sibling squabbles over the years, but Jess's family is my family and vice-versa. By the time Bekka got to high school, the three of us were very close, and the year I spent at home (last year), we spent a lot of time together.

Seven months ago tomorrow (27 October), Steph, DJ, and I had spent the morning shopping at Target for things we needed at the new house here in Laurel. We opted for lunch at a place we'd never been to "Chic-Fil-A". Just as we sat down to eat, my cell phone rang and it was Jess. I don't normally answer at mealtime, as its inconsiderate, but something told me to answer. She was frantic: "My dad thinks Bekka is dead". Jess's apartment is only a few minutes from her dad's house, and she could hear sirens as she tried to calm herself enough to drive over there. I didn't hear from her for three hours. I got another call from her: "We are waiting for the medical examiner". The only words out of my mouth were: "So, it's true?" Bekka had died, apparently in her sleep. It couldn't be true. Bekka was just barely 19. Healthy 19-year-olds don't just die in their sleep.

Sadly, Bekka did pass away in her sleep, at 19 years of age. The autopsy showed nothing. 18 weeks later, the toxicology reports confirmed that her heart just spontaneously stopped. There were naturally occuring chemicals in her blood that showed her body tried to restart the electrical impulses to her heart, but could not. Bekka was healthy. She had just graduated high school and started college. She was in a great relationship. She was an amazingly talented artist and musician. Her whole life was ahead of her and for no reason whatsoever, she was taken from us. (And yes, I realize that when Heath Ledger died, it only took 10 days to get his toxicology reports. We were still waiting for Bekka's when that happened and needless to say, we were rather annoyed.)

I had seen Bekka the day before I left to drive cross-country. I have a couple photographs that I snapped. I had no idea that less than a month later, she would be gone. One of the toughest parts of the whole thing was that I was 3000 miles away from home. I could do nothing to help, I talked with Jess a lot, listened, we laughed and cried. I managed to make a very short trip home over Veteran's Day weekend. It was nearly impossible to get into the car and drive the 15 minutes to Jess's dad's house, knowing Bekka would not be there.

Most of the time, because I'm so far from home, it's easy to not think about this horrible loss. I'm not there to see the void. Sometimes, because of a song or just a random thought, I remember that she's not a part of this world anymore and it's absolutely heartbreaking. I'm not even sure what triggered it tonight, but I miss her so much.

I know God has a plan, but sometimes those plans are very painful for those left behind.

Random

In being a parent, or pseudo-parent, you make sacrifices. One of my sacrifices, upon DJ's moms departure was giving up my guitar lessons. I don't have adequate childcare to continue, although I will probably try to get a couple lessons in while my mom is in town. My guitar teacher was so great (and super cute!) and is very flexible with lesson times. I just wanted to say that I really miss my guitar lessons, I miss my guitar teacher, and I miss my sanity. Oh wait...I'm not sure I can miss something I never really had....

Growing up

Where does the time go? DJ "graduated" from school today. He finished his year in the 3's class and will move into the 4's class this fall. He even got a diploma!

I remember the first day of this "job", 18 October 2004. I was only supposed to take care of DJ for two weeks, until a spot at daycare opened up. I think it only took two days before I decided to take care of him full-time. DJ is the kind of kid that, even as a baby, could capture your heart and own it forever. I took a picture that first day...

Now, three and a half years down the road, he has finished his first year of preschool, I'm raising him on my own, and while I constantly doubt my abilities, his mom, my family, other parents at school, tell me what an amazing job I have done, so I must be doing something right.

Hard to believe that little 7 month old is now 4 years old and has a preschool diploma!!!

Speechless

There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called "Speechless". I have never felt the lyrics of that song more than I do now. The past seven months have been very trying. So much has happened, good and bad. Some things were big, some were very small. No matter what has happened, it has all somehow worked out. It's no secret that I have struggled in my faith. I'm sure everyone does at some point, but I really had a hard time believing that God would allow me to go through some things that I had to go through. When I was a teenager, away at summer camp, I accepted Christ as my Savior. I'm sure I meant it at the time, but I had yet to go through some of the hardest times in my life and I lost sight of all that. A few days before I left to move to Maryland, back in October, I sat down with my cousin, who also happened to be my Pastor, and we talked for a long time. I accepted Christ as my Savior again and I have felt his presence with me ever since, something I have not felt before in my life.

Some of the things that have occurred could be explained as simply as good people doing nice things, but I know it is God's hand. I am new in this walk and I am truly speechless. The lyrics say it best:

I am Speechless
I'm astonished and amazed
I am silenced by your wondrous grace.
You have saved me
You have raised me from the grave.
And I am Speechless
In your presence now.
I'm astounded as I consider how
You have shown us a love that leaves us speechless

Stress, excitement, and scrapbooking

The past 24 hours has been nerve-wracking. There is a lot of household stress, which I won't get into right now. All I can do at this point is rely on prayer and know that God won't give me more than I can handle.

You know those big storms they have had in the midwest, with the tornadoes? Well, after they get cycled through there, often times we get a stripped-down version. Last night's storm was not as stripped-down as I would like. 5-6 inches of rain, flooding, sink holes, 30-40mph winds. If there were any tornadoes, I haven't heard about them, but there have been several in somewhat close proximity in recent weeks. We made it through the night and while we are expected to receive an additional 1-3 inches of rain today, the winds have calmed for now. One other thing...last week, it was near or over 80 degrees everyday, the past few days have been in the low 60's and today we will only reach 50! The house feels so cold in comparison to last week.

I got very exciting news today, which helps a lot with the above-mentioned stress. My mom has been planning to visit for part of the summer. I miss her so much and it will be great to have someone else around the house. Plus, DJ LOVES Grandma Joan!!! We are going to do quite a bit of traveling, considering trips north to Connecticut and possibly upstate New York. We will most definitely be visiting more sites in DC and out to Baltimore to see the Inner Harbor and some other historical sites. Also, down into Virginia to Monitcello (Thomas Jefferson's home), Colonial Williamsburg, and south to the Outer Banks of North Carolina (setting of just about every book of one of my favorite authors, Nicholas Sparks). She will be here from 8 July until 19 August and I can't wait!!!

Those scrapbook pages I mentioned...I don't think they have turned out very well, but they are appropriate for the occasion. I took pictures of some of his better art projects and a picture from when the fireman visited, shrunk them down, and pasted them on. There are a lot of similarities between the pages, but like I said before, I'm not great at this creative stuff. See for yourself....