Reflections on Father's Day

Father's Day has always been my least favorite day of the year. My dad left shortly before I was born, for reasons I still don't know. Even though he lived close, I never saw him, never spoke to him. I was teased by classmates as a child for not having a dad. It was always a painful subject for me. A little less than 3 years ago, I finally got up the nerve and called him at work. He used to be a police officer, so he was easy to find. I didn't know what to expect, but I had to try. He was very receptive and agreed to meet. Meeting my father for the first time was and continues to be a surreal experience. We are alike in so many ways. We look a lot alike, but it goes beyond that. We have similar mannerisms, similar likes and dislikes, similar quirks and fears. So bizarre. (Photo taken 10 September 2005)

Our relationship is still relatively non-existent. It's awkward to try and develop that after so long, but we get along fine and we do email from time to time. I email him to wish him a happy birthday, merry christmas, but I just can't bring myself to wish him a Happy Father's Day. He may be my father biologically and we may share a lot of characteristics, but he is still a stranger to me.

DJ does not have a father. That line of his birth certificate is blank. He knows what a dad is, sort of, what he has learned from TV, seeing other families. I can't help but feel that pain I grew up with, all over again. I have discussed the topic at length with his mom. She grew up with a dad and I know their relationship is strained somewhat, she just can't grasp what her child is missing. I am not, by any means, advocating her going on a wild dad hunt just to provide that for him. I just can't help but feel like he deserves better.

The best I can do for him is teach him about our Holy Father. The one amazing dad that will never let us down.