This could be a long one...

Ok, so let me try to lay it all out here. There is a lot going on, for myself and for those around me and some of it is good, some not so much, some I'm undecided about. Right now, it all just adds up to madness. I'm going to ramble, so try to follow along. :-)

Not to be overly negative, I will start out with a good thing. School is going great. I love working at the preschool, the kids seem to like me a lot, the parents approve of me. That is the one really bright spot in my life these days and its what keeps me going.

I suppose part of my problem is that I have short-timers syndrome. I know I am leaving in a few months, so everything seems harder or more frustrating than it used to. DJ is a great kid, I don't want to make him out to be anything different. He is a typical almost five-year-old boy. Full of energy, full of questions, and sometimes full of attitude. Compared to a lot of other kids I've seen, he is so well-behaved and polite.

So, the biggest thing going on around here right now is that DJ's mother is getting married next week. It's at the courthouse. Their "real" wedding will be this summer. Only a handful of people know about next week. For the most part, J is a great guy. They are really happy together, so I guess that's what matters. We have our differences, that's going to happen with anyone. I can't really say anything bad about J. He loves DJ, DJ loves him. I think it's going to work out great. The big issue is that J has two other kids, a boy (almost 10) and a girl (8) who live with their mother in Ohio. Due to deployments (J is a Marine), he hasn't been around to raise them much and they are wildly out of control. They spent the long MLK weekend with us a couple weeks ago and it was insanity. I spent almost the entire weekend in my room, because I couldn't handle it.

I will fully admit to being a control freak. I know you lose a certain amount of control when you throw kids into the mix. I have been raising DJ for over four years now. DJ knows the rules, he knows what he should and shouldn't do. These other kids had no idea. They just ran around like wild animals. It created a lot of friction between the adults, because DJ's mom was on my side of the issue and J felt like we hated his kids or blamed him for his behavior. Neither of which was true.

In any event, J can't move up here until he is out of the Marines this summer, so for now, he visits on weekends and in this case, will be here for over a week, which will actually be a big help to me.

To change the subject to myself...Todd and I have been separated for over two years and he has the divorce papers, but due to a lot of incorrect information and miscommunication with the courthouse, we haven't been able to sign and process them yet. Ok with me, right now, as I still need my medical coverage.

I have severe acid reflux disease. I have had it probably my whole life, although they didn't even know what it was when I was little, so I wasn't diagnosed until it had done quite a bit of damage. I had surgery to try and control it in 1997. The surgery was successful for a few years, but it's not a long-term fix. A year ago, I was diagnosed with a condition that results from prolonged (years and years) of acid exposure to the esophagus. It causes cellular changes and if the exposure it not stopped, can eventually lead to cancer. Its early enough for me, that as long as I keep the reflux under control with medication, I should live a long life with no risk of developing the bad stuff.

Monday, I woke up very early in the morning, in serious pain. It got somewhat better, but continued through the day. The location of the pain concerned me, because of this surgery years ago, I was afraid something had come undone or something else bad like that. DJ's mom was in a class all day, so I just got through it, and when she got home from work, she took me to the ER. They couldn't find anything wrong, so they sent me home with pain meds. It's gotten somewhat better, but I'm still in pain and now my reflux meds aren't working, unless I double the dose. They have worked very well for a year now, and its possible that I need to switch meds for awhile, but that's a tricky thing, as I'm about to lose my medical coverage and most of these meds aren't over-the-counter. I see my doctor this next week and may see the GI specialist in the coming weeks, so we will figure something out. It's just a little nerve-wracking, not to mention uncomfortable.

Back to the subject of school for a moment...one of the teachers I work with, someone who is so phenomenal at her job, I admire her so much, was just diagnosed with bladder cancer. They don't know how bad yet or what the course of treatment will be. Depending on what they find in the next week or so, she may not be able to work anymore or have to scale back her hours considerably. Right now, I work monday and wednesday afternoons in the pre-k class. This other teacher takes the tuesday and thursday afternoons in the pre-k along with her morning 3's class that she teaches. Most likely, I will be taking her two afternoons, because treatment will make her tired and possibly sick. While this is good for my paycheck, it makes me very sad, because she is just so great at what she does and the kids love her and I know how much teaching means to her as well.

We are in the midst of another big birthday party season. Last weekend one friend had a party. This weekend we have two on the same day, at the same place, just a couple hours apart. The weekend after, is DJ's turn. I can't believe he will be five years old! I took on the planning and preparations for this party, all his mom has to do is pay for it and show up. I don't mind, really, as I know all the parents from school and I'm available more than she is, so it makes sense. It does add a little more to my plate, fortunately only temporarily. After next weekend, all that will be left is thank you cards and those are easy.

I don't know if I've quite gotten everything out of my head that I had intended for this post, but for now, I suppose that will have to do. I'm sure there is more and I will think of it later.

On a side note, unrelated to the madness, I just finished the final book in the Twilight Saga and while happy with the ending, I am sad its over. I got so hooked on this storyline and I've even seen the movie twice. Considering I only just started the first book around Christmastime... Why can't there be more?! I guess I will just have to wait for the next movie.