Argh!

My mom arrives tomorrow night and I'm trying not to go completely insane before then.

I know it's typical for 4-year-olds not to listen, to test boundaries, etc. I know that's typical behavior really from the time they become mobile. DJ was never really that kid, though. He has always tested boundaries with his mom, but that's because she's never around. With me, he's usually pretty good. Those days are long gone and I'm not really sure how to deal with it. It's like he has age-regressed back to 18-months or 2-years old. He doesn't listen at all, he gets into everything, bath and bed times have become nightmare-ish, and his answer to everything is "I don't know".

I have tried to sit down with him and explain things to him, trying to keep eye contact, so I know he's paying attention to me. It doesn't seem to be doing any good. I have tried time-out, all he does is cry and scream and nothing has changed. I have tried rewarding good behavior, still no change. I tried taking things away for bad behavior, nothing.

He won't talk to me about why he does these things. All he says is "I don't know" or "I wasn't listening". He knows his actions are inappropriate, because when he gets caught, he usually starts crying immediately.

The worst of this started when his mom left on this deployment, but some started when he started going to school. Maybe being with kids his age has allowed him to find his own age-appropriate behavior? He has grown up around adults, until he started preschool back in January. School is great and I love the school he goes to. I'm not blaming school, by any means. I'm just trying to find some kind of reason for this change.

I'm really at my wits end right now. I find myself going into my room and crying, after he's asleep at night, because I'm just so frustrated and feel so helpless.

Maybe this is just age-appropriate behavior and I have to find some way to work through it. This is when being a single-pseudo-parent is the hardest.

If anyone has any suggestions, please, please feel free to share them.