Tested

I am feeling very tested as a pseudo-parent these days. DJ seems to be doing better, health-wise. He is eating and drinking lots. The heat/humidity here is just insane and due to several days close to 100 degrees, the air quality is very poor. This combined with DJ being sick over the weekend, we have been staying indoors. For the first time ever, since I started taking care of DJ, I feel trapped. There are things I would like to do, errands I would like to run, but I don't feel that I can subject him to the heat, as he doesn't tolerate it well, so we just stay home.

On top of that, and I'm sure it is partially due to the brief, but somewhat traumatizing illness, DJ has been very emotional. He cries at the drop of a hat, for no reason. I think part of it is because of his mom being gone, and that's completely understandable, and I'm sure some of it is just part of his age. I just don't feel like there is anything I can do. I give him tons of reassurance and love, but it's just not enough.

Like I said, I feel very tested. I will admit that some days, I feel like giving up. His grandparents would take him, but there are reasons his mom doesn't want that. I'm really the only stable thing DJ has had in his life. I'm the only one who hasn't come and gone. I can't just abandon him, because things feel tough right now. They will get better.