Bekka

I posted this blog several months ago, but as today would have been her 20th birthday, I feel the need to repost about one of my closest friends, Bekka.

(originally posted 26 May 08)
Allow me to start with some back-story, if you will. I met my very bestest friend, Jess in the 6th grade. We were inseparable and even to this day, talk at least 3 times a week. When I was living back in Washington, we spent as much time together as her work schedule allowed. Jess had a younger sister, Bekka. Bekka was probably about 5 when I met her and she instantly became the little sister I never had. There was a lot of typical sibling squabbles over the years, but Jess's family is my family and vice-versa. By the time Bekka got to high school, the three of us were very close, and the year I spent at home (last year), we spent a lot of time together.

Seven months ago tomorrow (27 October), Steph, DJ, and I had spent the morning shopping at Target for things we needed at the new house here in Laurel. We opted for lunch at a place we'd never been to "Chic-Fil-A". Just as we sat down to eat, my cell phone rang and it was Jess. I don't normally answer at mealtime, as its inconsiderate, but something told me to answer. She was frantic: "My dad thinks Bekka is dead". Jess's apartment is only a few minutes from her dad's house, and she could hear sirens as she tried to calm herself enough to drive over there. I didn't hear from her for three hours. I got another call from her: "We are waiting for the medical examiner". The only words out of my mouth were: "So, it's true?" Bekka had died, apparently in her sleep. It couldn't be true. Bekka was just barely 19. Healthy 19-year-olds don't just die in their sleep.

Sadly, Bekka did pass away in her sleep, at 19 years of age. The autopsy showed nothing. 18 weeks later, the toxicology reports confirmed that her heart just spontaneously stopped. There were naturally occuring chemicals in her blood that showed her body tried to restart the electrical impulses to her heart, but could not. Bekka was healthy. She had just graduated high school and started college. She was in a great relationship. She was an amazingly talented artist and musician. Her whole life was ahead of her and for no reason whatsoever, she was taken from us. (And yes, I realize that when Heath Ledger died, it only took 10 days to get his toxicology reports. We were still waiting for Bekka's when that happened and needless to say, we were rather annoyed.)

I had seen Bekka the day before I left to drive cross-country. I have a couple photographs that I snapped. I had no idea that less than a month later, she would be gone. One of the toughest parts of the whole thing was that I was 3000 miles away from home. I could do nothing to help, I talked with Jess a lot, listened, we laughed and cried. I managed to make a very short trip home over Veteran's Day weekend. It was nearly impossible to get into the car and drive the 15 minutes to Jess's dad's house, knowing Bekka would not be there.

Most of the time, because I'm so far from home, it's easy to not think about this horrible loss. I'm not there to see the void. Sometimes, because of a song or just a random thought, I remember that she's not a part of this world anymore and it's absolutely heartbreaking. I'm not even sure what triggered it tonight, but I miss her so much.

I know God has a plan, but sometimes those plans are very painful for those left behind.